A toddler at play…
… building with blocks, up and up and up and…
Crash!
A giggle and a smile and a reach all wordlessly say, “I’ll do it again”…
Meanwhile, a vital confidence embeds in nerve, muscle, and being:
“I can build my world.”
One day, maybe we find ourselves cultivating our surroundings, physically, mentally, and interpersonally. Maybe we even do so such that our worlds support us in turn, feeding a continued play as well as the things we find meaningful for ourselves and our loved ones.
But how do we get there?
A child’s play, seeking and challenging, is undeniably powerful. The quiet smile of a craftsperson deep in work shows the same depths, though now a mastery carved with care over time.
In either case, play does not appear without a trusted environment. Nor does it always connect without some form of guidance.
Our first role in life, as was so nicely described by psychoanalyst Erik Erikson, is to determine what we can trust. This same process continues throughout our lives.
Trust is the foundation of our relationships with people, objects, and even ourselves.
We then grow our sphere of trust through **risk**. Whether carefully considered or with complete abandon, we test the world around us and see what else we can trust.
As children, our caregivers ideally craft our environments to establish those trusted surroundings in which our playful spirits take root and grow. Whether that’s in the form of literal playgrounds or in the schedules of a school day, the wordless sense of “I can allow my mind to explore here” rests in unconscious trust. From here we can decide and build.
As adults, we must now build these trellises for ourselves. The craftsperson applies care over time, shaping the unique connections between self and world, nourishing a symbiotic flow for what they find meaningful.
To make this transition, we must consider how we guide ourselves, taking note of whim and worry without granting them the helm.
In a pause, we can gently rest our minds on the world and the effects it has on us and we have on it, doing so with whatever honesty and courage we can muster.
We exercise our sense of agency, our practiced skill and ability to decide and act non-reactively, to now build what we can trust ourselves.
Conceived in a pause, agency and play become the seed from which we grow the moment, up and up and up…- Kourosh
PS … into a crash and a smile…
PPS – I had a blast recording an episode with Carl Pullein for his Your Time, Your Way podcast. We talked about force-based methods of work, ADHD and it’s use and overuse in discussion, and more. I think we could have just kept on talking. The episode should be up by the end of the weekend. Do check it out! 🙂
