“And you may ask yourself, ‘Well, how did I get here?'” [^1]
One of the most befuddling issues of ADHD and other Wandering Minds is finding ourselves in the middle of something else. Whatever it was we had intended to do is not where we are.
Suddenly, we are working in email when we’d just started that report, watching a show when we were about to read a book, or scrolling through social media, well… just about anytime.
While there are certainly many ways to wander astray, one version is about “spacing out”. Some might deride this as “distractibility.” I would argue that there are times that allowing a mind to wander can be vitally important.
The question is what we do when that happens.
From Confusion…
Have you ever noticed that you can read a book much more easily while on a plane than at home? You might think it’s just that you have nothing else you can do. But I think the reasoning runs deeper.
When working, particularly on something creative or emotional, moments of confusion often strike. Email, social media, even the dishes suddenly become more enticing than whatever it was we were just doing. Frustration bubbles underneath and hijacks that part of us that simply wants to feel in control.
But what happened? Confusion often flares when connections are lost. Either:
1. One area of the work doesn’t connect with another. (For example, one paragraph doesn’t understandably flow into the next.), or
2. We have an association of thought or emotion and don’t recognize how we ourselves connect to the material.
… through a Pause…
An interesting thing happens though when we are able to hold steady, engaging a pause through the confusion. By remaining, not doing something else, we may well drift off into daydream and reverie, “spacing out” as it were.
This can seem like a waste of time, not paying attention to the intended focus. But sometimes, if we pay attention to these associations themselves, we discover how they connect to the work. Something meaningful to ourselves, even if not intended by the author, got touched off.
What we may have thought of as some frivolous wandering of mind is really evidence of our unconscious minds being hard at work, gathering meanings that may not have been apparent at first glance.
We realize, “Oh, that’s the character that did the thing,” “The author is losing me because this doesn’t match that,” or “This reminds me of that time when I…,” etc.
… to Taking Charge
We can even encourage the process. When catching ourselves lost in confusion, we can look at two points, within the work, within ourselves, or spanning the two and ask:
“What does this have to do with that?”
Even when the question goes unanswered, questions themselves can act as fabulous containers for confusion. Rather than choke working memory, a question formed from a pause gives us breathing room. We can think more clearly and move forward. Sometimes we even discover ideas the authors themselves missed.
So consider the next time you catch yourself doing something else or “spacing out,” could your mind be doing the hard work of trying to figure something out?
– Kourosh
PS. I’m hard at work on the 10th and final module of the Waves of Focus: Guiding ADHD and other Wandering Minds. We now get into the practice and power of settling the mind and the paths for doing so, enhanced using the Waves of Focus tools and skills learned throughout.
[^1]: PPS I couldn’t help but quote the Talking Heads from their most amazing album Remain in Light.
