Riding a Wave…
When conditions are right, we sail strong, getting more done in a shorter time than most. Ideas click. Insights seem obvious, if not simple. In diving deep, the world fades away as the inner critic mercifully loosens its grip.
We are creative.
Feeling that free flow, we may wonder why we cannot always be here. But its conditions are ephemeral, a mysterious muse drifting off far sooner than we’d want. Trying to hold on beyond its natural end creates tension, exhaustion, and a blindness to other important matters.
… Into Scatter
We can fall into scatter.
Maybe we walk into a room forgetting why we went there in the first place. Maybe we need so many reminders to navigate our day that they blend into the background leaving us lost once again.
Losing things, forgetting things, struggling to engage, buried under feelings of “I don’t want to…”, we sigh,
“I’ll do it later.”
Maybe vaguely believing ourselves despite the repeated failures to fulfill the promise.
Searching for Control
We plot some path forward with whatever’s at hand…
Maybe deadlines will work. Maybe following the moment’s whims will work. But there are no control levers to either. Due dates and interests exist without our input, neither can they be faked.
As painful as they are, they may be our only tools. But their faults and pains leave us wondering,
“Why can’t I just…?”
A Paradox of Potential
We’re told we’re smart. We might even suspect it ourselves.
But how can that possibly be true, especially when we cannot bring our mind to do a thing that feels important?
That disconnect between perceived potential and realization creates a powerfully painful point for the wandering mind.
The Mind Wanders
Minds wander.
For some, more so than others.
Some seasons, some days, some hours more than others.
The struggles that come with a wandering mind go beyond a simple trouble of focus. How do we explain to anyone–others or ourselves– that we can do this but not that, focus here but not there, now but not then?
“What’s wrong with you? Why can’t you just get started?”
We’ve already got enough going on, enough troubles trying to move forward, keeping up with responsibilities, desperately searching for a moment of joy and relief where we can. Having to explain how our mind wanders is just one more difficult task on the pile.
Beyond Labels
Some people get a diagnosis: anxiety, sleep deprivation, attention-deficit, among other possibilities.
Diagnoses are sometimes helpful. They give us a common term for the mysterious forces affecting us. Psychiatrists, neurologists, and others examine neurotransmitters, pathways, behaviors, and more. Checklists say “this many” meets criteria. Perhaps we find and use medicines and treatments along the way.
But none of these address either meaning or decision. In ADHD, for instance, medications can be very helpful for reducing distractibility. But how and where do we choose to place our attention to begin with?
Further, medical terms can sometimes even be used against ourselves. Inherent is a sense of, “This is abnormal. How do we make it normal?” We may even use them to shield ourselves from further admittedly painful attempts to forge new paths forward.
Strength and Struggle
Reading and listening to online discussions, many recognize a strength, sometimes even calling it “awesome” and a “superpower.” Meanwhile, others bristle at the idea that there can be anything “super” about it, debilitating as it can be.
Meanwhile, for those who don’t qualify for a diagnosis, we are often left more confused than before. When there’s no word or physical thing to point to, we’re at a loss to know what’s going on.
Even with a diagnosis, its mystery remains.
In other words, pointing at a word, what are we even pointing at?
Onward
In the coming newsletters, we’ll consider how we can often try to improve matters in ways that can inadvertently make things harder. We’ll eventually arrive however, at how a Visit-based approach to engaging can begin a positive-feedback cycle to get out of the pit, where it is less about avoiding myopia and more about engaging magnification.
– Kourosh
